Mediation

I had to now arrange for Family Mediation in Chesterfield where I travelled over for a hours meeting with 2 people who didn’t know me, didn’t Sonny and certainly didn’t know who Sarah was and what she was capable of doing.

Obviously Sarah had refused mediation with the first company so I now had to find another one. I contacted the people who I intended to use and they in turn contacted Sarah who, this time, agreed to take part. Sadly, because Sarah had forced me to take her to court again and the fact this time she pretty much put all the responsibility on a young child, Sonny had to be involved in the mediation. He was going to be interviewed with his Mum present.

Any parent will tell you, especially if they have been exposed to the corrosiveness of parental alienation like I have, that having self-severing, profiteering, judgmental people interfering and having an opinion on something they know very little about, is a particularly hard pill to swallow – especially in a case like mine where I’d done nothing wrong.

That’s said, it had to be done so arrangements were made.

From what I understood that day Sarah and Sonny were going to attend mediation first and I was going to meet with the people running the day shortly after.

I remember when I arrived and entered the meeting room I got the impression that Sarah had made a bit of a drama about making sure our paths didn’t cross. Gutless I know, that was Sarah – she would have been bothered about maybe hearing some truths, which she never liked.

The meeting started, the 2 women who were there to listen were very typical in that they just sat and listened to the story. Obviously Sarah had fed them a lie so I was probably at an advantage going in second to give them the truth and you could see that what I was telling them was enlightening.

They weren’t aware that this was the second court case I’d had to take against Sarah, I’m not surprised she kept that quiet, and had no idea the level of contact I’d had prior to this and my unwavering support and dedication to Sonny and being there for him. They didn’t know that it was me who did all the travelling, the were surprised when I told them what Sara had done by lying and reneging on our agreement that she would help with the travelling and within the first 20 or so minutes they were fully in the picture as to Sarah and the negative role Margaret had played in doing everything she could in obstruct Sonny having a Dad and a paternal family.

At this point the mediators were there to listen. I knew that by the end of it mediation wouldn’t have worked and we’d be back in court but we had to go through the process. Sarah was a liar and for her to agree to resolve matters at mediation she’s have had to expose herself again as a liar. She wasn’t going to do that, Sarah isn’t accountable, it’s not in her nature. So this was going to court and Sarah was gonna use Sonny as her Lee Harvey Oswald, her patsy - she was ready to blame a child.

From the limited information I could garner from the mediators all they were able to say was that Sonny says he doesn’t want to see his Dad but he can’t explain why. He never could, because he didn’t really know why he’d decided he didn’t want to see me or us. He just took the position that he didn’t – that’s parental alienation in its truest form – get the child to do the dirty work.

They were asking me why I thought that was the case and all I could tell them was what had happened on the 02/08/2013 and the day before – that Sony didn’t want to stay at my home. I told them I didn’t everything I could with Sarah to convince her there were no noise issues at my home but she refused to opportunity to stay there herself – Sarah was absolutely opposed to resolving matters, that’s why were at mediation.

Obviously I told the mediators I was willing to mediate with Sarah to avoid the courts but I knew we were never going to mediate – Sarah knew that she wouldn’t have been able to handle to listening to the truth. However, she was able to just sit behind Sonny and push him into the firing line.

Ultimately the mediation was a process to try and achieve a solution outside of the court and at the end of the meetings a report was to be written by the mediators giving their view to the situation as it stood.

We attended a number of meetings, two maybe three, before the report was written up. The mediators knew there was nothing they could do and at the conclusion we awaited the report.

On receipt it pretty much reflected the meeting’s however there were a few points that I read that surprised me. Sonny had told lies. I was shocked really. I knew that maybe he was confused and a little disoriented by what he was being forced into by Sarah. One of things he told them was that since we’d been apart he’d been upset by the fact that he’d always sent me cards and gifts on my birthdays and Xmas and I never even thanked him, that I just ignored him.

For the record, Sonny never ever sent me any cards or any gifts whilst we were apart. I don’t know why he said this, maybe he was scrambling to find a reason to tell the mediators why he’d decided not to see me anymore and he was just thinking off the top of his head.

There were a couple of other small points in there that weren’t true. One thing I can always say is that everything I’ve ever said about Sarah, about Margaret and about Sonny’s story is that it’s the truth and I don’t lie.

Sarah and Margaret don’t have that luxury. I think at this point because of Sarah’s reluctance to mediate, the fact Sonny was telling lies and my history of fighting for Sonny I’d proved myself credible again with the mediators. They knew I was telling the truth.

I did contact the mediators about the report, I combed through as I always did with every report and I’d made points of any untruths in the report by either Sarah or Sonny.

Coincidentally, Sarah had also seen the lies and she actually contacted the mediators asking to redact them from their report. Apparently she told them Sonny didn’t mean to say what he did. The mediators, to their credit wouldn’t redact them, they said as Sonny had said what he’d said and they were stating in the report.

It didn’t help me in anyway. Proving lies in the family court environment means nothing. Any Father that has suffered parental alienation by people like Sarah know that liars are never held accountable. I never held it against Sonny, he was a child – it was Sarah putting her lies into his head, or maybe Margaret.

I remember she also emailed them and asked that I wasn’t mad aware of the redactions she’d requested. They told here in no uncertain terms ‘No’ and that I like her, was privy to all material relating to the mediators report – and they copied me into her requests! She would have been livid at me seeing her scheming again!

In essence the report concluded that mediation had been unsuccessful and that the matter needed to be referred back to the courts. I knew at the point that we were going to then be referred on to CAFCASS because Sarah wasn’t going to resolve this at court, she was going to have to be forced to again so the court would have no choice but to get CAFCASS involved.

And that’s what happened. The report was submitted and we were heading back to court for another long drawn out battle.

Up next, CAFCASS  

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